Broke as in the slang term for living in a low income family, broke as in coming from a broken home, and broke as in the past tense of break - to overcome, to stop, a disruption from continuity. 

Because of that my parents were never around - and when they were - they were tired from work to deal with their children - most of my childhood I have flashbacks of screaming, yelling, and violence; I wasn't the greatest kid either. I don't hold them accountable for anything as they only knew what was taught onto them. If it wasn't for my parents and their work ethic - I would've been homeless and making videos. But the very passion, and anger - the fire that burns within me to keep making videos and get better is to eventually and slowly tell my story. The story that no one ever hears or talks about coming from a poor immigrant family on top of talking about the things that matter the most to me - being my most authentic self and able taking care of my parents.

People mostly see the world in their own eyes in their perspectives but since I grew up poor I was able to see things from both perspectives - and if it wasn't for this - who knows who/what I would've become. I'm not here to air out my dirty laundry, but talk about scenarios where it's one can relate to other people who grew up similar instances like me. 

Since I lacked a lot of social skills (I still do) at a young age - such as making closer friends when I was kid - I was a labelled as that shy, timid, or mute kid that was just in the room observing. It wasn't until a lot later on in my life that I discovered that I needed to constantly work on myself and it was a never ending process. Things such as confidence, getting rid of negative thoughts/people, how to deal with my anxiety, and overall socializing are things I constantly work on. Even though I do make videos on these topics - it was more so from the perspective of me talking to my younger self. If I had the ability to give all the advice I wish I had to my younger, frustrated, and helpless self - what would I emphasize? 

Learning how to socialize, building your self esteem, being fine with who you are, understand that people do/say things in their best interests, and so forth.

I wish I had someone to talk to about my situations when I was going through the things that I go through (and still go through) - but because of my circumstances - I learned to confide in myself and use my parents as my guidance. Knowing where they came from - was enough motivation for me to keep doing what I'm doing. I wanted to do YouTube since I was 12 years old; having the ability to edit reality and frame them in a way that you could see my perspective on top of being awkwardly entertaining and providing value through my own life insights on whatever topics that pertain specifically to me - being Asian, awkward, and passionate. Most people have hobbies - but since all I knew was being in a traditional Asian household - that's all I knew and come to know. 

As you may know - YouTube is a very crowded space - and as the longer the site exists - the more people seem to try to ''attempt'' to become a vlogger. I can't hate since I'm doing the same - but for me I can't partially do something; if I wanted to do something; I have to go all in - and my channel is going to be the documentation of me at the age of 24 years old going all in; in video making, storytelling, and YouTube. 

I've honestly learned more about myself in almost 2 years than what 5 years of university has taught me. I'm also able to be self aware as I constantly watch myself through a screen - whether that's me complaining about my circumstances, focusing on things that don't get me to point A and B, and me needing to be more grateful - that's my biggest flaw.

Exactly two years ago I remember having a conversation with a friend from university when I had 70 subscribers and asked his insight on whether or not I should do this YouTube thing.. and his (extrapolated version) response was if it's something you want to do - do it as life is short and you don't want to be 30 years old be like,''yeah I wished I did that YouTube thing but I gave up my dreams in exchange for conforming to a world that didn't want me in the first place.'' 

Last year I made these goals to only not revisit them so I like to physically write them on a piece of paper close to my bed side but with the beginning of 2017:

• Hit the 10,000 subscriber mark (not for vanity metrics) but to be able to go to the YouTube Space and Livestream on my phone
• Establish a stronger community
• Be more personable 
• Focus on quality AND quantity 
• niche down to more self-development, mental health, and occasional exploration of things.. (it'll make sense later down the road)

With love, 

Peter
brokethehabit