It often irks me when people try to talk to me about my childhood or family, strange of me, I know, but it's mainly because it's the root of who I am, and why I am.

Thing is, I grew up poor. There's things I still need to work on (of course) but I'm going to unravel a little about my life and my childhood; to maybe explain why the way that I am. People on YouTube tend to portray a certain persona or character on the screen and the real them is not really shown.
One of my goals on YouTube was/still is to show me via one one video at a time to the world. Obviously, I can't tell you where I live and everything but I want to be as transparent as I possibly can. But there's pros and cons of this; as I've learned from channels like FouseyTube, people can use your honesty and vulnerability against you in the long run, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

I know there's starving people in poverty around the world, but being poor is a relative term; meaning you often compare yourself with the people in your situated environment. When you think of the immigrated young generation of Asians, you usually think luxurious cars, paid for tuition, and a town house in the urban city core; well in my city that is. But you rarely see/hear the other side of the coin. The struggling Asian family trying to get by - trying to make ends meet so that their children can go to school; the arguing, the broken home, the hustle to be alive.

Ever since I was young, I felt angry - towards society, the world, any other powers because I was put in the situation I was in. I didn't chose to be poor, I didn't choose any of this. The hatred, the envy, the jealousy towards other people who 'had it all.' Dinners as family, a white Christmas with presents under the tree, vacations. What is all this you speak of? Why haven't I heard of these things? In truth, the word family meant more than what it actually was. I remember days where I would spent hours as a kid trying to think why? Why am I in the situation that I'm in? Other people have it so much more easier than I do, they wouldn't survive half the things I've been through. Overall everything was just negative.

Although my mindset isn't like this any more, there are some days where I catch myself thinking similarly like if I was a kid all over again. But what I needed to do was to be grateful. Be grateful for the parents who were never around so that I could be 'on par' with everyone else. Be grateful for that they never gave up. Truth is, life isn't fair. Some people have it easier than others; and some have it harder. But instead of focusing on what you can't change, focus on what you can change. Including your mindset, your goals and aspirations. Ultimately, despite any hand of cards you have; we as humans still have the power to determine our fate and outcome. Does it suck? Of course. But complaining about things that are out of your control is pointless and digs you deeper in the pit of envy and jealousy. Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich,  refers this as the poverty mindset.

It's when you believe that you are doomed, have bad luck, and meant to be in that situation and so you become... so in turn you never reach for greater, you never try. In poker, you might not be able to beat a pocket ace with a pair of 2's but in life, you can, and you will.